Tag Archives: child abuse

Safe With Your Own Kind

Watched Narrow Margin. A tense little noir with great one liners that had it all: humor, twists, violence, style, voice, and a little kid in danger. A gravel voice cop escorts a mob boss’s wife to court via train to testify but the mob wants her dead. If I see it on DVD I’ll definitely pick it up.

A lot of times people say to me:

“You hide behind your keyboard and your views, safe with your own kind and your own people.”

I’ve explained myself with the first part of the comment. I am a keyboard warrior. Being autistic, a keyboard is my preferred choice of communication. My weapon and skill.

Now, what is wrong with wanting to be with people who share your view, no matter your view? If you see black and everyone one else sees white, living in that white world is going to be hard on you, no? (no pun intended)

I grew up in a little hick town called Howell in New Jersey – Monmouth County – and it sucked. Today you would call it Trump country. It was full of Aryan, racist views. Narrow minded, stuck up middle class and white trash. Homophobic. I did not share or fit in. I was a freak, a weirdo, and a loser. I got my ass kicked a lot.

Why should I fit in? I mean, I could but who wants to vomit three times a day?

So of course I wanted to leave and find someplace to fit in, to share my views. And I did in Jersey City.

That’s not to say I didn’t learn about other points to view. I learned a lot about hate and prejudice during my childhood. I learned how sad they were. How they lived in fear. How money controlled them. I saw their POV clearly.

I also saw POVs of LGBT, Latinos, Chicanos, Blacks, Africans, Muslims, etc. I spent my life learning POVs since leaving Howell. And I made them my own POV. I’m still learning. I’m a fucking sponge.

So if anyone says that I’m hiding behind my kind’s pov where I feel safe, then yeah. I am. And I do feel safe. As an autistic who has been abused by neuro typical white people through out my life, I do feel safe on my side.
Narrow-margin-poster

 

 

 

 

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The Long Post and the Threat of Regression

FRIDAY

Kids had a half a day so the teachers can leave early from work and prepare for their three day week end. Damn the unions. So I managed to complete a little computer work.

Not able to get much done with BOTH kids home.

Watched Michael Mann’s Manhunter. Been a while since I’ve seen it. A slick minimalistic forensic crime noir. It’s a fine slow burn with great performances from William Petersen and Dennis Farina who you don’t see anymore, sadly. Tom Noonan and Brian Cox were wonderfully psychotic in different ways. What little time Joan Allen had she made a strong impression on the film.

SATURDAY

Did a lot more computer work. Some frustration between linking up the store with the website. HTML bullshit that I have to figure out. Be creative and work around it.

My daughter, M, spent some time with my wife’s Aunt Fuck and mother today while we went to the mall. Aunt Fuck was training M to say her name on her cell phone video so she could sent it to her friends and post it on Facebook. Now sometimes my daughter is repeating “My Name Is M”.

She’s going to be five in a few months. She’s broken out of echolalia. She’s top of her class and surpassing her goals in private ABA and in school. She has a strong chance to be in a mixed class in 3rd grade. Speech is her slight weakness. She should be working on her sentences, voicing what she wants. Communicating her needs. She already knows her name, the names of her family members and her pets.

I feel this aunt is regressing my daughter’s hard work. Also feels like Aunt Fuck is using her like a child pornographer in front of our faces. Giving her commands, making her do it over and over, making sure she looks at the camera. Treating her like a thing. Like she’s a retards, brainless.

But that’s how she talks to everyone. Yes, I hate Aunt Fuck. I’m going to have to ban her from my daughter again. Sigh.

Watched Michael Gornick’s Creepshow 2. This is the new Arrow edition, which looks stunning. This film has grown on me every time I rewatched it. We met Mike Gornick a few times at cons. He’s a nice, generous, and approachable guy. He started off as a Director of Photography for George Romero in the first half of his career. It’s a fun film but doesn’t surpass part 1.

SUNDAY

More computer work today. Boring, blah, blah, back ache, blah.

Helped D with his essay for school. Research.

Because of above had to skip writing group today. *sad face*

Watched Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive. It’s his second film. Funny. This film lives up to the reputation of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It’s bloody, violent, and intense and it’s all on the screen, unlike the other film, which was going for a PG rating or just shadowed out from the lack of lighting or budget. Pure Hooper insanity driven by performances from Neville Brand, Robert Finley, Marilyn Burns, Mel Ferrer, and Robert Englund.

MONDAY

Started last round of edits for Cities That Eat Islands. Thank God, no computer work.

No school for the kids since it was a holiday. We didn’t get invited to any parties. Great!

Helped D with his essay again.

Sorry for such a long post. Wanted to do an autism post too but will save it for tomorrow.

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